Letter 56

Dear You,

Maybe too much has happened. Maybe there is too much hurt in these rooms for this to still be a home. Maybe you’ve said too many hurtful things on purpose, just to hurt me. And maybe I’ve turned inside out ugly. I still can’t believe I spit in your face, not because you didn’t deserve it, but because that is not me. I’m the high road has the prettiest view kinda girl. But twice now, I’ve turned into some kinda of monster, and even though I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry all the way inside my guts and blood. Maybe it’s just too much. Maybe every time I close my eyes, I can see your face ever so clearly speaking those words over and over. Well yelling them really, “I do not want to marry you, I did for a while in the past, but not anymore”. On my fucking birthday. And maybe you meant it. I know you meant it. And maybe, I just can’t get over that.

Love, Me